Blacking Out at Harrisburg

By: Dr. Jenny Swanson, LICSW, LCSW, CMPC

I’ll never forget my first round at the Pennsylvania National Horse Show or better known as 'Harrisburg' for the Amateur Owner Jumpers. It was a show I had worked all year to qualify both of my jumpers for and had truly dreamed about competing at since I was a kid. The atmosphere, the prestige, the pressure. But the second I picked up my canter for that first round, everything went blank.

I didn’t forget my course exactly—I did ride it—but I had no real memory of the round. I “blacked out” because I was so nervous.

I am grateful that my mare is a sainted creature and despite my nerves and a couple rails, she carried me around the course and we finished no worse for the wear! I walked out of the ring thinking "holy crap!" I got off and took a breath. I gave her all the treats and then got a leg up to get on my second horse.

The privilege I had to be able to have two horses in that class, I am immensely grateful for. If it was not for my mare taking the brunt of my anxiety, I would not have been able to take a breath and regroup before getting on my next ride. By the time I walked into that ring again on my gelding, I told myself "We did this before, we can do it again. Just breathe and enjoy yourself. You got this!"

If you’ve ever had that experience, you know how disorienting it can feel. You walk out of the ring thinking, What just happened? So why does this happen—and more importantly, how can we prevent it?

Why We “Black Out” Under Pressure

When we feel nervous or anxious, our brain activates the fight-or-flight response. This is a survival mechanism designed to keep us safe from danger. Your heart rate spikes, your muscles tense, and your brain shifts into high-alert mode.

The problem is that in this heightened state, your brain prioritizes survival over fine motor skills and memory recall.That’s why riders sometimes:

• Forget their course

• Lose track of their plan

• Ride on autopilot but don’t fully remember the experience

It’s not that you don’t know your stuff—it’s that your brain is temporarily hijacked by stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

What’s Happening in the Brain

Think of it this way:

• Your amygdala (the emotional center of the brain) senses threat and sounds the alarm.

• The prefrontal cortex (responsible for focus, decision-making, and memory) gets pushed aside.

• The result: you ride, but your brain isn’t fully encoding the experience.

That’s why it feels like you “blacked out.”

How to Regain Focus and Control

The good news? You can train your brain to stay present under pressure. Here are a few strategies that helped me—and that you can use at your next big show.

1. Breathe with Intention

When nerves hit, your breathing often becomes shallow and rapid, which fuels the stress response.

• Try box breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.

• Just 2–3 rounds can calm your nervous system and bring oxygen back to the brain.

2. Create an Anchor Word or Cue

Choose a simple word or phrase like “smooth” or “ride forward.” Use it as a mental reset button when you feel your thoughts racing. Anchors keep your focus locked on what you can control.

3. Visualize Under Pressure

Don’t just visualize the perfect ride—visualize yourself staying calm when nerves spike. See yourself breathing, resetting, and riding with focus. That way, when the real stress comes, your brain already has a script to follow.

4. Stay Process-Oriented

Instead of obsessing over results or the outcome (e.g., "Will I get a ribbon?"), focus on controllable goals like:

• Keeping a consistent rhythm

• Riding forward out of the turn

• Sitting up tall with your shoulders

These process cues keep your prefrontal cortex engaged and help block out panic.

Final Thoughts

Blacking out at Harrisburg taught me something important: it wasn’t that I wasn’t prepared—it was that my nerves hijacked my focus. Learning mental skills gave me tools to take back control of my brain under pressure.

That experience left me with more self-awareness of my anxiety cues and insight into my capabilities as a rider. Instead of thinking, "Ugh, I totally bombed it! Everyone was there watching my first round, and it sucked! I am so embarrassed!" Instead, I thought, "Wow, was I nervous! This horse show and getting the opportunity to show at this venue means everything to me. I need to take a moment, slow down, and enjoy the next opportunity I have to ride in that ring. I want to remember it!"

Remember it, we did! My gleding, Chuck Blue, and I finished sixth in the $10,000 Amateur Owner jumper classic to finish off the week! A huge accomplishment that I am still so proud of myself for to this day.

So if you find yourself forgetting your course or walking out of the ring wondering what just happened, remember this: it’s not a failure. It’s your brain doing what it’s wired to do.

With practice, you can retrain it to stay present, sharp, and connected—no matter how big the moment feels.

👉 Have you ever “blacked out” in the show ring? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear how you handled it!

Follow me for more!

Email: jennyswanson.licsw@gmail.com

Website: jennyswansonlicsw.com 

YouTube/TikTok/Instagram: @ horseshowtherapist

Disclaimer: All information shared on this page is for educational and informational purposes only. The information shared here does NOT constitute as therapy or as medical advice and does not establish any kind of patient-client relationship. A patient-client relationship with you is only formed after we have expressly entered into a written agreement that you have signed including our fee structure and other terms to represent you in a specific matter. Although I strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice and you should not rely solely on this information.